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By: Anonymous Person, Lansing Car Crashers Journal
People that go to LCC should be aware that four unidentified persons have invaded at least one car today. These Fantastic Four members shouldn't be taken lightly. They have a lot of strength to open an unlocked car, have the speed to take fuzzy dice from the victim's rear-view mirror without being noticed, and have amazing tying skills at the steering wheel. A reporter said at the scene of the crime, "I haven't seen something this tied up since my son was learning how to tie his shoes." Well, there you have it, be aware of these evil deeds in Lansing. I have suspicions that the next day they will attack is this Thursday morning between 7:30 and 8:10. The question is, who's they?